NOT ASHAMED

What's Keeping You Where You Are?

2010-01-12T06:49:00.000-08:00

Then Moses said to the LORD, “Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” The LORD said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? “Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth, and teach you what you are to say.” Ex. 4:10-12

Have you ever been gripped by fear. I mean "can't move, can't breath, I'm just going to run the other way kind of fear"? Now I love horror movies but I absolutely hate haunted houses. Years ago I went to the "Nightmare on 6th Street" haunted house... and I will admit I screamed like a little girl. I thought I was going to hurt someone trying to get out of that house. I could not stand not knowing what was next around the dark corners of that house. To this day I will not go to a haunted house! No, my man card still works-don't judge me!

I bring up that story because I think fear whether it happens in a haunted house or everyday life, ultimately comes down to one thing...control. Fear will ALWAYS KEEP YOU WHERE YOU ARE. Its the safe play! It requires you to stay instead of jump. In this chapter God shows Moses some amazing signs, and yet his only response is God find someone else to do what you need done-I cant do it! The reason Moses was afraid was because he was looking at the wrong things- He was looking past his experiences with God and only focusing on his limitations.

You see fear causes you to see what your not instead of seeing whose you are! Fear causes you to hide behind your limitations instead of relying on God's reputation. Do you and I have faith enough in who He is to believe that He can use us even at our greatest point of weakness. Not only do I believe God can use us like that, I would say that it's the only time God can use us! "For when I am weak ,then I am strong...my strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor. 12)

Will you jump today into radical obedience when everything in you says to stay? What's keeping you where you are?

Not Ashamed...Bill

Shameful Concessions

2010-01-11T07:19:00.000-08:00

"Saul and his men spared Agag’s life and kept the best of the sheep and goats, the cattle, the fat calves, and the lambs—everything, in fact, that appealed to them. They destroyed only what was worthless or of poor quality." 1 Samuel 15:9

Compromise: to make a shameful concession.

As I read about Saul this morning I can't help but think about a man with amazing abilities & potential but who refused to listen and abandon himself completely to the LORD. Instead he chose to waste it all on his own selfish desires! The most dangerous moment in our lives will be the day we stop surrendering, yielding, caring and concerning ourselves with the condition & temperature of our hearts! Saul had everything... the looks, the physique, the strength, the power and the fame...he had it all, and because of that it cost him everything! You see the problem with Saul was that he allowed his heart to lead his life instead of his God.

You see God was looking for a man who would abandon his heart, his life and his soul to Him, so that He could exalt him and use him for His glory. But Saul gave into one compromise after another. These concessions led him to a place he never intended to be! You see here's the problem with compromise and concessions...they never end! Just ask Tiger Woods about that! That's not a dig on Tiger, God knows but for the grace of God in my life I could be in his shoes! I'm only saying that at some point just like Saul, Tiger Woods started believing his own headlines, he thought he was untouchable and it cost him everything!

So how do you know if you're dangerously close to shameful concessions? Here are a few warning signs in 1 Samuel 15...

- We're willing to settle for good things instead of godly things! (v3,9)
- We care more about the approval of men than we do about the praise of God! (v12,17)
- We start focusing on the areas of our lives we've GIVEN to God, instead of those areas we haven't! (v13 20, 22)

Again the issue for Saul, the issue for me, and the issue for you will always be this...Does God have all of US? Am I completely abandoned to His will, His desires, and to His word? “What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice,..." 1 Samuel 15:22

Not Ashamed...Bill

Abandoned: Emptied of Self!

2010-01-05T07:08:00.000-08:00

13“O our God, we thank you and praise your glorious name! 14 But who am I, and who are my people, that we could give anything to you? Everything we have has come from you, and we give you only what you first gave us! 1 Chronicles 29:13-14

As I read 1 Chronicles 29, I am struck by the brokenness of a man who missed it as a father. From David's life we know that he excelled as king but failed miserably at home. Did he screw up as king? You bet! Did he fail in his personal life? Absolutely. But was he a failure? NO! Because even as flawed as David was, he was still considered a man after Gods'own heart. David always turned back to God! He always fought to abandon himself to God. He always came back to the place where God was at the center of his life!

The funny thing about leading others whether its in the home or marketplace is this, until your willing to give of your OWN TREASURES those who follow you won't either! Leadership must cost you before it costs others! David in v2 says "with all of my ability I have provided for the house of the Lord..." What David was saying is this, God all that I am I pour out...all that I own I give freely...I will gladly spend all that I am for your glory God!

A couple of things to meditate on from this chapter as it relates to living a life that is abandoned to God. Ask yourself a few questions: Do I give comfortably or sacrificially?(v9) (not just money but time) Are there any holes or blind spots in my life and is there someone I am accountability to personally? (v17) What am I holding back from God? (v16) (Am I giving God what I want or what he desires?)

Jesus may you teach me & and lead me to give sacrificially not comfortably. Jesus will you show me every blind spot, every sin that is trying to take root in my life so that I may confess it and be cleansed. Jesus, may I live to give myself away today so that others may come to know your name!

Not Ashamed...Bill

Abandoned...

2010-01-04T08:33:00.000-08:00

Abandoned: unrestrained or uncontrolled; to give up the control; to yield

This year as I begin to think about what God is calling me to I feel a real sense that He is calling me back to meditate and focus my life on what it means to truly surrender all that I am to Him. I think the longer I walk with Him and the more He reveals himself to me-the more that is required of me! This absolutely scares me because it means I have to let go of more and more of my life. This is my greatest struggle. Unfortunately I'm so good at trusting God in the safe areas of my life. I don't want to be safe, I want to be dangerous for the kingdom of God. I refuse to allow my life to be marginalized this year and the only way for that to happen is for me to ABANDON ALL THAT I AM TO ALL THAT HE IS!
I have been reflecting on my 16 years as a Christ follower and I've seen some amazing things! I've seen the hand of God and His mighty power at work in and through my life in ways I could have never imagined. I've seen GOD deliver me from the those who sought my life in Bangladesh. I've seen the impossible become a reality through prayer and fasting as God healed a close and dear friend from cancer. I've seen a man on his death bed rise up and walk away to the praise of the glory of God. I have seen a village of Hindus and Muslims miraculously broken by Gods Spirit and bow and receive Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. He has used me in numerous ways to lead people to Christ and then to disciple them to do the same! I have seen God do a lot in 13 years of following Him...but I want to see more! I want to KNOW HIM MORE. I want to LOVE HIM MORE, I want to be consumed by Him. So as I begin this journey with God this year my simple prayer is that God would allow me to see what it means to be completely abandoned to HIM. An uncontrolled, unrestrained relentless pursuit of Jesus Christ!

Not Ashamed...Bill

What's Your ONE THING?

2009-10-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

"...Demas having loved this present world has deserted me & has gone to Thessalonica..." 2 Timothy 4:9

As I read Paul's final farewell, his death sentence letter to Timothy, I am struck by his focus and how intentional his final words are to his "son" in the ministry. His concern is not so much about his life or what he is about to lose, or even those things he is going to miss out on as death and torture approaches. His final thoughts are about his brothers and sisters & their pursuit & devotion to Jesus Christ. Simply put- is Jesus Christ their ONE THING. Paul warns Timothy that there are those in the faith who have purposely gone astray from Christ. There are those in the church who have willfully deserted, abandoned, left, turned back from a pure & simple devotion to Christ. What a legacy to leave right! That has to be a crushing blow in your life when your name has been forever associated with deserting Christ and His church! I mean taking a break, catching your breath, "its just not convenient right now Lord" sounds so much better doesn't it? Deserted sounds so harsh, so disloyal, so treacherous. I mean no believer would ever say that they willingly abandoned or deserted Christ, and yet our lives don't lie. They tell a different story don't they?

As I read Paul’s words to Timothy, I think another passage applies here as well, its found in Revelation 2:4, “… Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.” Isn’t that really the issue here with Demas? I mean yea he bailed on Paul but more than that; he bailed on Jesus, he left his first love. He took his foot off the gas; he pushed cruise control spiritually. You see its not that he started to pursue the things of this world- he just stopped pursuing the only thing that mattered-Jesus Christ! As I think about Paul's final words to Timothy this morning ... I am challenged in my own life. I wonder how close I am from "deserting" my first love, my pure and simple devotion to Christ? I wonder what area of my life I’m letting up spiritually? Where am I casually trying to follow Christ in my own life? You see I don’t think desertion & abandonment happens all at once. I just think it happens the moment we stop pursuing the only thing that matters most- our love affair with Jesus Christ! So my question for you this morning is this- What’s your ONE THING!

Not Ashamed….Bill

A Mistaken Identity

2009-09-09T07:21:00.000-07:00

"Now you are Christ's body..."

1 Corinthians 12:27

I've been meditating lately on what it really means to be the "body of Christ." And as I have read and studied this chapter in Corinthians, I have to say my heart has been broken over the condition of the "church." Were missing it! No doubt in
1 Cor. 12 Paul paints a picture of the body of Christ as being made up of many members all working together for the common good, but there is so much more to it than just what we do. You see I believe the substance of the church is so much more precious, worthy and significant than just its function. I think we have grossly misinterpreted how Christ meant the church to be defined in our culture today. We have taking a living organism (Christ and his church) and transformed it into a religious organization.

In this chapter Paul paints a very different picture of what the church is. After describing the church as a body made up of many members, each one placed together in the body just as God designed it...Paul says this in v12..."so also is Christ." The reality is...if the church is "the body"... shouldn't it reflect and reveal the very person of Christ. You see I believe we have an identity crisis in the church today. Historically we have told our people that being apart of the body of Christ is all about what you do. But that's not really true...we have mistaken our identity as something we do instead of a Savior we know and make known to others. Paul makes it so clear here in Corinthians that being apart of the body is about who you are not what you do! For Paul the body of Christ is not just a metaphor or a word picture but a living reality that Jesus Christ indwells his people and gives his life to them. In other words the church is not a human organization designed to keep alive the memory of a great historical figure, but rather the church is a divine organism mystically fused to a living and reigning Christ, who desires to continually reveal himself through the lives of his people -His body-the church.

Listen Jesus is not simply one who founded a community of believers and left it, but rather the one who is still ever present within it. That's what makes the church such an unstoppable force! It was never meant to be a well-oiled organization that functioned inside the walls of a building but rather a community of believers who reflect and reveal the very person and presence of Christ to those desperately hurting & lost outside the walls of the church!

Father my prayer is that as I live my life today, may your presence be felt, may your power be seen and may your life be poured out into those whom cross my path. Jesus may I be your body today!

Not Ashamed....Bill

Love intersecting Life...

2009-08-05T08:18:00.000-07:00

"...we loved you so much that we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives, too. "

1Thessolians 2:7-8

This may sound kind of weird coming from a pastor, but here it is... I finally understand now what Paul means by this verse. Over the past 4 months Debbie and I have had the amazing opportunity to share not only Christ with some friends of ours but our home, our family, our marriage, our very lives! We have seen this sweet couple not only embrace the grace of our God through Jesus Christ, but we've also gotten the chance to walk with them through this journey. We have shared intimate details of our marriage, revealed the missteps in our own past, as well as our own current spiritual struggles, and how sweet that journey has been. Bottom line- we shared our very own lives! All of it! The good, the bad, the ugly.

We didn't simply share a FAITH outline (nothing wrong with that) or pat them on the back after they prayed a "prayer" & tell them to go and attend a "New Believers' class so they could try and figure this whole Jesus thing out on their own. No, instead we invited them to know the Jesus we knew. We invited them into our very own lives. We invited them to come and watch what we do, to hear what we say, to see how we love, to follow our pattern of life in Christ. It meant many late nights, a ton of questions, and a lot of transparent & real dialogue. But isn't that the way Christ meant it to be though! The very presence & person of Christ intersecting people right where they are...His Love intersecting Life! Can I tell you that this couple has not only become a new brother and sister in Christ, but they have become a part of my family, a part of my marriage, they have become a part of our lives forever. Simply put they have "become dear to us."

The reason I share all this is because I feel a sense of responsibility now for their lives. I carry a constant burden for them. I feel drawn to them and extremely committed to making sure that the Christ in me is formed in them! I pray for them and share my life with them not because I'm a pastor but because I deeply care for them. I have a stake in their spiritual lives. What an amazing blessing! This couple has become so dear to me & Deb that we are committed just as Paul was in Galatians 4:19 "Oh, my dear children! I feel as if I’m going through labor pains for you again, and they will continue until Christ is fully developed in your lives." I so understand Paul's heart, passion and desire for the church now. I get now why Paul writes with such passion for the church. He cared so much for the church because he was heavily invested into people's lives. He had so much deep love for his brothers and sisters in Christ who were struggling spiritually, who were being persecuted for their faith, because he didn't want anything to cause them to drift away from a pure and simple devotion to Christ. Just as Paul felt personally responsible for the early believers he was entrusted, so should we! We should do whatever it takes, go to whatever length in our lives so that we might fan the flame of Christ in those God has entrusted to our lives!

It's amazing how different you live, and how deep you love when others faith are at stake in your life. And you see I get the sense that this is exactly how Christ meant it to be! Disciple-making was never meant to be a spectator event, a church growth formula to be put on paper, or a task reserved for the super-saints, but rather an up front, close and intimate experience between those who are connected to Christ and those who are far from God.

So here's my question for you. Where's that kind of relationship in your life right now? Whose life do you feel spiritually responsible for at the moment? And if you still don't have an answer, then what are you waiting for?

Not Ashamed...Bill

A life that doesn't touch bottom..

2009-07-08T08:25:00.000-07:00

"And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness."

Col. 2:6-7

Isn't it crazy the things were willing to do when we just start simply trusting in our Father's words. The other day we were at our community pool and I had taken my youngest son Matt by himself just to hang out with him. Now normally Matt will swim only where he can touch the bottom because he is so afraid of not being able to touch the bottom. And when he does have to venture through deep water, he hangs on to the edge of the pool for dear life. Well as a typical Dad who wants "his son" to be afraid of nothing... I began to ask Matt if he was ready to start swimming in the deep end. As we swam I simply began to tell him that I thought he could not only swim through the deep end but that I thought he could swim in the deep end! Of course his immediate response was "No way Dad...I can't..." In that moment God instructed me to throw his "diving torpedo" into the deep end & say these words ..." Matt trust me...I believe you can do it....I'm right here with you." Now you have to understand one thing about Matt. He hates to fail! And because he hates to fail, he'll a lot of times not even attempt difficult things in life. But this day was different. I sensed in him that he was ready and willing to trust me & listen to me, if I was willing to encourage and tell him that he was not alone & that I believed he could do it! After a few moments I witnessed Matt do something he had never done before! Not only was he swimming in the deep end, but now he was diving to the bottom of the deep end to retrieve his diving torpedo! I was so proud of him...you should have seen his face when he came up out of the water...one big smile from ear to ear...and he said these words..."Dad did you see me!!!!" I said with two thumbs up, "I did Matt... way to go, I am so proud of you...I knew you could do it."

As I reflect on these verses today in Colossians I am reminded of that event in Matt's life and this thought hits me. Bill why aren't you swimming in the deep end? What are you afraid of? Failure? Reputation? Losing control? Having to depend completely on someone else other than yourself? You see just as I was stretching Matt, I believe God is trying to stretch my faith right now. The problem is...I don't want to let go of the side of the pool! What God is trying to say to me today is this...Bill stop holding on to the edge! Stop playing it safe! Let me do in you more than you could ever hope do on your own! Listen I know that the only way I am going to "grow down deep INTO CHRIST" in my family, in my marriage & in ministry is by learning to swim in deep waters. I must begin to swim in those places in my life where I can't see bottom. Those places where I am completely uncomfortable and where I can't control the outcome. To be completely honest...that scares me. But I know if I don't let go ... Not only will I be frustrated in the shallow end of life, but eventually I will miss out, and my family and ministry will suffer as a result of me not willing to trust God and follow Him to the deep end! The reality is I will only begin to experience the deep things of Christ in the deep end of life! You see I gotta let go of the edge! I must stop playing it safe. And the beautiful thing is this...when I let go...when I begin to swim where I have never swam before ... He's with me! I'm not alone! Oh how my heart aches for this kind of daily experience with Christ. To discover more and more the richness of my life in Christ! To awaken to reality that their are deep truths & treasures of Christ waiting to be found in the deep waters of life..if I would just let go!

Jesus,

I let go today from the edge! I confess that I have a lot of anxiety about the unknown. I pray and ask you to take me to the depths of your word so that I may know you, so that I may trust you, so that I might completely abandon myself to your will and your plans for my life. I just want to live the kind of life that doesn't touch bottom! Thank you Father for never letting go of me!

Not Ashamed...Bill

Rediscovered...

2009-05-12T07:25:00.000-07:00

"All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had. The apostles testified powerfully to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God’s great blessing was upon them all. There were no needy people among them, because those who owned land or houses would sell them and bring the money to the apostles to give to those in need. "

Acts 4:32-35

One of my favorite places to eat is Chik-fila. I eat there at least once a week. Not only do they have great waffle fries and unlimited Diet Dr. Pepper (yes I'm over 30 now) ...but no matter what Chik-fila I go to...no matter what city it's in... one thing's for sure... they always have an Ashley that works there and you will always here one phrase..."My pleasure." Everytime you say thank you or I appreciate it...they have to say "My pleasure." It's great ... try it. The reason I bring this up is because they have a reputation. They've made a name for themselves. They've marked their "business lives" in such a way that it sets them apart from the crowd. And I read this verses today in Acts and wonder shouldn't that be the same for the Church today? Shouldn't the Church, the bride of Christ, that which HE died for be so set apart that nothing in this world could even come close to it? Shouldn't the church here in Austin, Texas bear the same "marks" of the church in China, or Uzbekistan or even in rural Alabama?

What a different world it would be if that was the reality of the American church today? But it is not and unfortunately I have to say that it embarrasses me and breaks my heart that I have to qualify "the Church" today by saying the "American church." If you look at the identifiable markers of the early church in Acts and try and find them in our experience today ... we do not even come close! We look nothing like the original! We aren't even a very good imitation of the real thing in scripture! And yet... the Church is what Christ has entrusted with his mission and his message.

Here in Acts 4 what absolutely jumps out to me is this...here was a community of believers who shared all things IN CHRIST and who shared all things BECAUSE of CHRIST! They got it! The death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ changed everything about them. Who they were and more importantly it changed how they lived! There lives were lived as living sacrifices ...they were spent for the Glory of our God.

What God would not do if his church were truly united in one heart and one mind & lived to give itself away to those inside and outside the church. What an amazing message for a world that is looking for the words of our mouths to be authenticated with the life that we live. May we as a faith family here at Great Hills rediscover "the Church" in Austin, Texas for the Glory of our God.

Not Ashamed...Bill

It's NOT my name at stake....

2009-04-28T11:39:00.000-07:00

"For the sake of his great name the LORD will not reject his people, because the LORD was pleased to make you his own."

1 Samuel 12:22

Many of you might not know what's going on in my world right now...so here it is. About 6 weeks ago I found out a friend of mine (who also happened to be our Sr. Pastor) was feeling led to another place in ministry. Honestly I felt a little disheartened. I felt like we were holding on to this rope together and making great progress together in ministry and then one day my friend just lets go! Now I know that's not how it went down...I know and believe he followed God's call... but in my flesh it just didn't feel right. I felt it wasn't the right timing. I thought to myself...really ... "right now God, you're calling him to leave." I mean there is so much on the line... a church that desperately wants to become a movement of God here in Austin, Texas. A beautiful city where 92% of our community does not know how much they are loved by my amazing God. I see broken lives and hurting people everywhere I look and now I'm asking, "God, what now?"

So after I had a few weeks to be still, get away, and be alone with God and vent ... I have to say I am greatly refreshed! Yes I confess I'm in a church that has buried its "talents." Yes I confess I'm in a place where we have horded what God has entrusted to us as a treasure instead of graciously pouring it out as a offering on the lives of those in our community. Yes, I confess we have been more concerned about looking religious instead living righteously. Yes we have been more concerned about "judging people's deeds instead of meeting their needs." But here's the deal ...none of these things have to do with my friend leaving. He graciously and faithful served here in this place for 6 years. He was used by God in a very strategic way. And what God has reminded me of today is this... HIS CHURCH cannot fail! It will not fail! Why? Because it doesn't depend on one man. "We" are the bride! The church, the people of God have been entrusted with an amazing calling... to go out into our community and be the hands and feet of Christ. We have been called to go make make disciples of all nations!

I am extremely excited this morning because while we have lived out a riskless & powerless Christianity in the past ... our GOD refuses to let us stay there! He never gives up on us and He longs to rescue and restore the brokeness of our lives! I believe we are poised here at GHBC to become something we have never been before for the glory of our GOD! I praise God that we are losing ourselves in the process! I have some amazing brother's and sister's in Christ who are ready to risk all that they are so that they might begin to live off of His reputation. And here's the thing about living off the reputation of God...IT CANNOT FAIL! You see when we begin to live our lives for the sole purpose of bringing Glory to our God; when we begin to thirst for his power and his presence more than the popularity and pleasures of this world, HE shows up!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that the only name, the only reputation that really matters in my life and the life of this church is HIS NAME!

God I pray that we (your people @GHBC) would not turn to worthless things that cannot save. I pray that we would not trust in programs & performances but instead that we would totally rely on the power of your Spirit that brings life through your word. Father may we completely trust that you have us right where you want us. God forgive us for ignoring the cries of the thousands upon thousands of far from God people who have been entrusted to us in this city. May GHBC become a place where lives are transformed and where broken people can begin again!

Not Ashamed...
Bill

Alone but not forgotten...

2009-04-07T07:24:00.000-07:00

"And the LORD appeared again at Shiloh, for the LORD revealed himself to Samuel at Shiloh by the word of the LORD."

1Sam. 3:21

These are the last words of Ch3. A chapter that describes a dark day in the life of Israel. A day where God's voice was no longer heard. A day where sin was no longer hidden but celebrated. A day when there was no one leading the people of God. No one left to speak for Yahweh. And yet God refused to give up on them. He raises up yet another man, Samuel whom he would use to restore & rescue his people.

I don't know about you, but I have gone through times in my life where Gods' voice seemed non existent. Where his power and his presence were absent. There have many days I have felt all alone. But I am encouraged this morning because I see a God who never gives up on me. I see a God whose grace, mercy and love never fails me. Listen even though Israel was far from God ...God was not far from Israel. My God is a God of long suffering. A God who loves me with an everlasting love. He waits and he waits and He waits so that He might show His mercy. And these words closing out Ch1-3 are beautiful to hear. "the LORD appeared again at Shiloh...the LORD revealed himself to Samuel..." Shiloh was to be the place that Israel centered there "lives" around. It was the place of worship. It was the place where the Ark of the Covenant rested...it was the very place God's presence dwelt among his people. It was to be the central focus, all consuming passion of there lives. And yet somehow, somewhere they got off course... and now they found themselves in a place they did not want to be, alone... but they were not forgotten.

I love the fact that my God even though I may struggle at times, still pursues me. I praise God that He uses all things in my life to draw me back to himself. The promise I have this morning is this...if I will "Be still..." and center all that I am on all that He is...and seek Him thru his word ...he will speak. He will reveal himself to me! God I praise you that you're not a God who ever lets go of me. God just as you spoke to Samuel through your word, God may you speak to me today. "Here I am LORD, your servant is listening."

Not Ashamed...Bill

Are you living out of position?

2009-04-06T09:29:00.000-07:00

"Here I am... for you called me..."
1 Samuel 3:8

This morning as I read about the heart and life of Eli the priest I was reminded about how important "position" is in own my spiritual life. I really believe that the major struggle I face in the Christian life is trying to stay centered on the very person of Christ. There are so many distractions, so much of this world tempting to draw me away from a pure and simple devotion to Christ. Man I want to live out of the overflow! As you read this chapter you will find that Eli had become completely comfortable and complacent with the things of God. He had lost all sensitivity to hear Gods' voice. And yet here was a man that worked in the temple... the very place where the worship of God was supposed to take place. Where people saw the very glory of our God, the place where hearts were changed and lives were restored, where sin was forgiven and yet Eli had lost his awe of God. And when we lose our awe of God, when we lose our ability to hear God's voice, we will also lose our ability to see God as he really is. In (v1-2) it says "And word from the LORD was rare in those days, visions were infrequent... At that time Eli, whose eyesight had begun to grow dim so that he could not see, was lying down in his own place. " I think this is a huge statement because it screams to us about the importance of remaining in a place spiritually where we not only hear God's voice but see him clearly. Unfortunately Eli had lost the ability to do both...why...because he was in his OWN PLACE!

As you finish reading the chapter you see the consequence of living the Christian life out of position...(v17) " He said, "What is the word that He spoke to you?..." This is Eli asking young Samuel to tell him what God had spoken. Eli was so out of position with God that the "priest" couldn't even hear the voice of his God without the help of a young temple servant. Eli had lost his ability to hear from God. Eli was out of position spiritually. Our sensitivity to Gods word and his voice is always an indicator of the spiritual positioning of our lives! Where are you this morning? When was the last time you clearly heard the word of God speaking to you!

God my prayer today is that you would not find me in my own place. God may I have the heart of Samuel, who when hearing your voice said "Here I am..." God remove anything and everthing that dulls my senses to hearing your voice and seeing your face! Father I pray as Samuel did, "Speak LORD, your servant is listening!"

Not Ashamed...Bill

It matters how you live...

2009-04-02T08:28:00.000-07:00

"Now the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the LORD."

1 Sam. 2:12

A few months ago I was doing the most ungodly thing you could do...I was getting in my morning run...(I believe running is reserved for hell). Anyway as I was running it hit me that my son was 10 yrs old. It like took my breath away! I had a panic attack right there...I started doubting everything I was doing as a parent...I kept thinking, have I done enough, what have I instilled into his heart, Man am I screwing this kid up or what? I mean he only has 8 more years at home then he's on his own. Who will he become and will he live a life that honors God? All these things began to flood my mind. But what that moment did for me was push a reset button in my life about what is most important! It reminded me of this simple truth-"I am leading my family everyday, the question is where am I leading them?" They are following me...the question is where am I going? As a parent it is a very sobering thought to think that my boys are watching, modeling, and replicating every word, attitude, and action I live out of my life. And I will admit that sometimes I can be careless in how I talk to Debbie or how I handle stress or bad days in ministry. But I praise God for passages of scripture and moments in life like this morning where God pushes the reset button for my life.

In reading 1 Samuel Ch 1-2 you see a stark contrast between a family that lives to glorify God and honor Him at all cost, and a family that carelessly walks through the religious rituals of faith. In Ch 1 we see a woman (Hannah) who desperately cries out to God, in faith to open her womb. And when God answers her prayer, she immediately offers Samuel back to the Lord (C1v28) "as long as the child lives." And then we see the priest Eli and his 2 boys who actually serve in the Lord's temple and who could care less about the things of God. C2 v12 actually tells us that the sons of Eli were "worthless men; they did not know the Lord." Now my question is how did they get to the place where they became worthless men, men (not boys) who did not know the Lord. I have to believe their arrival at this place in life was not by accident. It was intentional. I'm just not sure it's where Eli wanted to intentionally lead them! As you read there story, you will find out that Eli's sons abused their positions as temple servant's and actually despised everything about the Lord and their work in the temple. (c2v17) And then you read that Samuel continued to (c2v26 )"grow in stature and favor both with the Lord and men." Two very different families. Two very different leaders. Two very different outcomes! Samuel would go on to lead the nation of Israel and eventually crown the greatest king of Israel, King David. The 2 sons and their father would all 3 die tragically the same day. What a waste!

Listen it matters how we live! It matters what we watch! It matters how we talk! It matters where we go! Everything in our family hinges how we live out our faith before of kids! You are leading your family somewhere, and be sure they will follow you...the question is where are you leading them?

God my prayer today is 1 Samuel 2:35... "And I will raise up for myself a faithful priest, who shall do according to what is in my heart and in my mind. And I will build him a sure house, and he shall go in and out before my anointed forever."

As for me and my house we will serve the Lord...

Not Ashamed...Bill

Everything that shouldn't be...

2009-03-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

4 Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. 5 But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. 6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Is. 53:4-6

Just yesterday I had to discipline one of my boys...and I had to do something that I hate doing doing. I had to spank him. It absolutely kills me to have to spank any of my boys...I rarely have to spank at all... not that my boys are perfect, but usually they correct themselves or show that they have learned a life lesson when we sit down and talk it out. But this was not one of those moments. He had locked his brother in a closet and turned out the light... and then proceeded to say some hurtful things to his younger brother. Needless to say my little guy freaked out... and came downstairs to share his broken heart. So I did what I didn't want to do...I grabbed a belt and I spanked one of my sons.

It absolutely broke my heart to have to spank my son. I love him very much! But I know it was the right thing to do and it was needful for his maturity and for his process of learning right from wrong. I share that story because this morning ...by the providence of God I read Isaiah 53: 4-6 in my devotion time. Listen to these words and meditate on them...Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down....he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.

As I read these verses this morning I am completely broken. These verses describe everything that shouldn't be! I mean it was my fault for the condition of my life, not Christ's. It was my choice not His. It was my sin, my rebellion, my pride, my lust, my selfishness that has fatally wounded my soul! And yet the bible describes everything Christ went through for me. Everything that shouldn't be! What an absolute insane love God has for me. I can only imagine what God was thinking and feeling as he watched his son take the beating and torture of the cross for the sins of mankind...for me and my sins. All the while the very ones whom he was trying to rescue, restore and heal... mocked him they cheered "Crucify Him..."... "Look everybody its the King of the Jews" ... "Hey Jesus if your really God...why don't you save your self." I mean God poured out His wrath and His judgment on his own son, and yet no one even stopped to take notice. How could God not just go nuts on everybody and wipe out mankind? If that was me having to beat my own son and see him tortured for something he didn't do ...I think I would lose my mind! AND YET ... the bible says ...God did all that he did for one reason... to rescue us, heal us, restore us and to show us the extent of His love!

Rom. 8:32 "Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? "

Oh God I pray today that I would live in view of your mercy and grace! God forgive me for allowing sin to stay in my life, forgive me for dismissing the cross as I daily choose to sin against you! Jesus that should have been me! EVERYTHING I WAS YOU BECAME SO THAT EVERYTHING YOU ARE I CAN BECOME!

Romans 7:24-25 "Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Not Ashamed...Bill

"How much more..."

2009-03-05T06:54:00.000-08:00

"...How can we who died to sin still live in it..."

Romans 6:2

As I sit here this morning and think about the incredible sacrifice & act of love God has given me through Jesus Christ, I am struck with this thought ... if Christ was willing to go to the extent that He did just to declare his love to me and for me... if he willingly chose to love me at my worst...then what extent must I be willing to go to in order that I might declare my love and affection for Him? As I read Romans 5 ... there is a statement that struck me over and over again... "much more then...". The entire chapter of Romans 5 really descibes our God as a "how much more " kind of God.

That word literally means, "to surpass a particular point on a scale, to go to a greater degree." I am so grateful that my God does not measure out his grace and love for me. I praise God that he did not give me just enough grace to pay for my sin, but rather he gives me more than I could ever need so that I might live my life free from the power of sin!!! You see Christ exchanged His life for my death! His righteousness for my unrighteousness. But that was not enough for Him... he gave me "much more grace" so that I might live in victory over sin.

"...But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ. " v17

So what should be the response of my life in view of God's extravagant grace ... ALL OF ME!

"...For the love of Christ compels us...and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him ..." 2Cor. 5:14-15

Father may the deepest desire of my heart be that all of me would be consumed by All of You! Thank you for being a "much more" kind of God.

Not Ashamed...Bill

A love without limits...

2009-03-04T09:14:00.000-08:00

"...but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Rom. 5:8

This week I am meditating on what God's grace really means for my life. I mean I talk about Gods grace all the time with people who are hurting & far from God...I often will say "Gods' grace is enough for you...it doesn't matter how far you are from him or where your at...or even what you have done...His grace can reach you no matter what!" While that is absolutely true....I have to tell you that I often struggle with remembering that same truth in my own life. I still struggle from time to time with fully accepting and embracing Gods' grace. Not because God withholds it from me...no it's actually just the opposite ...its because He lasciviouses it all over my life day by day.

This morning as I woke up ... I found myself very hesitant to draw close to God because I felt like I really let him down. I felt so unworthy. I just wanted to run and hide! I don't know about you but sometimes I feel like I sabotage my own spiritual life by willfully making sinful decisions that I know will hinder my intimacy with Him. I end up not doing what I know I should ...and I end up doing the very thing I know I shouldn't do. (***read Romans 7) When this occurs I find myself asking Jesus, how can you still love me?" "Don't you know what I've done...don't you see what I'm struggling with?" And then it happens ... He quietly and with much tenderness takes me back to the cross and reminds me that WHO HE IS and HOW MUCH HE LOVES ME is not tied to what I do or don't do? Its called GRACE! And I can honestly tell you that God's grace was new for me this morning when I read Romasn 5:8! "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

This word "shows" = to come into existence, to take form.

In essence what this word means for you & I this morning is this...God said, "How can I convince them that I love them? How can I show these people the depth of my love ... How can my infinite and indescribable love take form? I know ... I will love them right where they're at! And I won't just love them at the cross but I will continue to love them no matter what they do! The verb tense of this word "shows" literally means that what God did back at the cross for you & I will never stop! His grace will never cease...it will never run dry! There will never be a time where He gives up on you...and where he gives up on me...there will never be a time where HIS GRACE LETS GO!!!! He says My grace is enough for you! My love is without limits!

You see the reality is this...if God chose to love me and pour out His grace to me when I was far from Him...just as I was...how much more will He pour out His grace today! You see the same grace God gave me at the cross is the same grace He gives to me today! How often I forget that truth. Thank You Lord Jesus that your love for me is not tied to what I do or don't do but rather it is tied to the very person of Christ! ..."where sin increased, grace increased all the more, ..." Romans 5:20

Not Ashamed...Bill

When you don't know what to do...

2009-02-25T07:50:00.000-08:00

"...then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;..." Prov 2:5-6

What do you do ... when you don't know what to do? I don't know about you but sometimes I feel like I live in that "state" on consistent basis. I'm sure one of the reasons I find myself there is because I am way to hard headed and way to persistent in doing things on my own and getting my own way! But what do yo do when you come to one of those "life-changing" ... life altering decisions... where your one choice will not only change your life but all those around you? What do you do then? You see the reality is this... if Im not listening, hearing and trusting the voice of God daily in the "little things"... how in the world can I expect to hear & know His voice and understand His will when I get to those "big" life-changing decisions?

You see just in the past few weeks I have found myself trusting more in my own wisdom and understanding than in Gods' word. I've kinda had this mentality that says ...okay Lord I know what to do here in this situation... but when I come to that place where I really don't know what to do... when I get to that place where I am really out of my league...then I'll come and seek your guidance. How self-centered, self reliant and prideful I have been.

The problem with that mind set is this...if I'm not willing to trust, depend and be desperate for God in everything, everyday ... how then can I expect to know His voice and His will when BIG things come up in my life? How will I know how to trust him then? You see if you always do what you've always done you will always be what you've always been... translation ...how you live (trust) today will affect how you live (trust) tomorrow!

This morning as I confessed that before God...He began to reveal himself to me in a new and fresh way. As I sought His face in worship...as I longed to know His heart... He simply poured himself out in my life! To be completely honest, I haven't experienced His power and presence like that in a while. Oh how sweet these moments are with God. Its amazing when you share these moments with God...because all of the sudden EVERYTHING in life is put into perspective...all of the sudden everything else in your life pales in comparison to His greatness and His glory. You find yourself not wanting to "get" something from God ...instead you find yourself just simply wanting Him! Right now there is so much change going on in my life ...on every level... that I feel like I'm out of control at times. What a desperate feeling. But then as I read in Proverbs this morning the bible gives me an amazing hope and promise... that "if I will" ... recieve...treasure...make my ears attentive...incline my heart to HIS word ...and then seek and search for HIM with all that I am ... then I will "discern the fear of the Lord and discern the knowledge of God..."

Translation = It's not as important to know what step to take or what direction to go... or what decision to make... as it is in knowing the ONE who is with you and the ONE who goes before you!

Not Ashamed....Bill

"Trafficking Unlived Truth"

2009-02-24T06:46:00.000-08:00

"Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, "

Prov. 1:5

My wife says that I am notorious for having selective hearing! "I only hear what I want to hear." Now we laugh about this all the time but this morning as I read in Proverbs... this verse really convicted me. Solomon says basically that if I want to know when, how, and where to walk in this life then I must not only hear but "increase in learning." This statement in Hebrew literally means to "carry with you...to take along with oneself." You see I'm always praying and asking God to speak to me and thru me...but am I really adding to my heart and life the truths that He has already spoken to me? I mean am I simply as D.L Moody says "trafficking un-lived truth"- out of my life. I believe that's called hypocrisy! You see a wise person doesn't just seek to obtain knowledge & understanding ... but rather a wise person takes what He learns and applies it to his circumstances and life and allows that truth to guide every area of life!

Its interesting looking up different words in the original languages...and as you look up the word for "hear" in Hebrew you will see that it is also the same word for "obey." So what that means is this ...God never intends to speak to us where he doesn't also intend for us to obey! A little bit further down in v 33 it says ..."But the one who listens to me shall live securely and will be at ease from the dread of evil." So my prayer today is that I would not simply stop at "hearing" God speak but rather that I would "listen/obey" that I might walk securely in this world. Jesus my prayer today is that I would live out what has been spoken into my life. That I would "increase" not in what I hear but rather in what I do with what I hear!

Not Ashamed....Bill

2009-02-23T08:34:00.000-08:00

"... But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life.

Rom 6:22

This morning I am struck with an eearie sense that there are some things in my life that are not leading me into a deeper and closer walk with Christ. Rather just the opposite. There are things that are hindering my relationship with Christ. As a Christ follower I know I am free...Praise God I am free to live without the fear of condemnation or judgement because of my sin...Christ has forgiven me.... but that freedom was not secured for me so that I could continue to live my life my way... my freedom was secured in Christ so that I could live my life HIS way! You see the paradox I consistetly struggle with in my own life is this... for Christ to live His life in me and thru me ... I have to die! And honestly I hate to die! So when I feel that my life is out of balance and spiritually unhealthy ...I know the one thing I must do... FEED my Faith and my flesh will STARVE! And that is really what the Bible is telling me today in Romans 6. I have a choice...I can choose to do those things (or pursue those things) that will lead me farther away from God or I can choose to do those things that will lead me into a deeper relationship with Christ. My prayer today is that God you would give me the power and strength to turn away from those worthless things (even good things) that can bring no LIFE to my walk with you, and in its place give me a deep desire to give myself wholly & completely to those things that will draw me closer to you!

Not Ashamed....Bill

What Kind of God Do My Boys See?

2009-02-18T08:14:00.000-08:00

"Let Us make man in Our own image, according to Our likeness; ... God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them."
Gen 1:26-27

I am mediating this morning on what it means to be created in the image of God. What a mind blowing thing to try and grasp about our God. I mean that he would choose me to reflect, resemble, and bear his image ... I mean God out of nothing spoke through the power of His word everything I see and all that I am into existence! The Hebrew word used here for "create" is never used in the context of human creativity ...instead it is only given to God...who can take that which never was and make something that is! And what is so amazing is that He chose us as the pinnacle of all that He created to reflect his image!

And so as I meditate on that thought...I ask myself how am I doing in reflecting and resembling and bearing the image of God to my family. I mean as I look at my 3 boys...I can see how each one of them "bear" aspects of my own life. I mean take Jon Jon for example, he is my mini-me, ...whatever I do he does. Matthew, he has my strong will...his way or no way... and of course Billy, he has such an incredibly tender heart for God and passion to reach out to others. And so if the purpose of my existence is to KNOW God deeply and make Him KNOWN... then how am I doing at that in my own home. Months ago I asked Billy my oldest son on the way to baseball practice "what words came to his mind when he thought about Jesus?" He said, "loving, compassionate, sacrifice, giving..." And as I sat listening to his response it hit me.... if that is the Jesus he sees, then I better make sure that that is the Jesus I live!"

The bottom line is this...they will worship (or not worship) the Jesus I live at home. If they are following me wherever I go...the question becomes where am I leading them and who am I leading them to? I do think I do a good job of directing their behaviors ... (this is what we do...this is how we do it....) but am I simply raising up another generation of "doers" instead of "be-ers"?

My hearts desire is that my 3 boys would passionately follow Christ out of a pure & simple devotion instead of a religious duty! My prayer today is that I would authentically and accurtely reflect the Christ who was, who is, and who is to come in such a way that it would lead them to know, love and worship God with all their heart, mind and soul!

Not Ashamed....Bill

Can anything else be poured out???

2009-02-09T09:03:00.000-08:00

"The everlasting God . . . neither faints nor is weary" —Isaiah 40:28

Sometimes I look at all the hurting and desperate people around me...they seem so lost, so helpless in their pursuit for the ONE THING that will make the difference in their lives. I know that God has entrusted them into my life so that I might be the very expression of His love, grace, power and presence....but sometimes I just get overwhelmed with the task God has called me to. As I was driving in yesterday to worship and I began to think about all the different hurting/broken people just in the last week that God has brought into my life...and honestly I got very anxious... I drove in feeling like a huge weight was sitting on my chest. I began thinking God with so many people who are hurting and broken and who are in need of being restored and rescued...where do I begin? I cant do this...there is no way! I mean what else can I possibly give? What else can be poured out? Honestly I began to wrestle in my Spirit & with my flesh. I wanted to start making excuses as to why I can't do this or do that... I wanted to start chucking responsibilities and turn inward...just focus on myself, my wife and my boys! But then it hit me ... It not up to me!

The reality this morning is this ... God has simply called me to know him deeply and to make him known daily!!! God has called me to a life of being poured out! A life that is bound on the altar!!! A living sacrifice. It is interesting that when I am not willing to be bound on the altar daily how easily my flesh and desires want to release me from my duty & devotion to sacrificially serve Christ and others.

As I read a devotion this morning from Oswald Chambers "My Utmost for His Highest" I was struck with this statement that really encouraged my heart:

"The process of being made broken bread and poured-out wine means that you have to be the nourishment for other people’s souls until they learn to feed on God. They must drain you completely— to the very last drop. But be careful to replenish your supply, or you will quickly be utterly exhausted. Until others learn to draw on the life of the Lord Jesus directly, they will have to draw on His life through you. You must literally be their source of supply, until they learn to take their nourishment from God. We owe it to God to be our best for His lambs and sheep, as well as for Him."

Bottom line: As long as I will cling to Him and abide in Him and drink from His life daily ... then there will be an endless supply of His wine to be poured out into the lives of those God has placed into my life! So the question is... God what else can I pour out...the answer...whatever you've poured in!

Not Ashamed..Bill

A Made to Order God...

2009-02-03T06:27:00.000-08:00

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. Deut. 6:4-6

I am so terrible about dropping my sunglasses. I don't know what it is about a new pair of expensive sun glasses but as soon as I get them its like a love connection takes over and some way some how they find the pavement and they get all scratched up. And of course the scratches are never on the edge ...no... they are right in the middle of my lenses so that my line of sight is affected. From that moment on everything I see is now scratched & distorted. But what eventually happens after about a week... my eyes adjust and I stop seeing the scratches. I simply just learn to go on and live with this distorted view. I am reminded of that this morning because I think I often do the very same thing as it relates to my worship of God.

The question I am asking this morning is this ... am I seeing the God who is or the God I want Him to be? The reality is that what I see or "don't" see about God will affect how I worship him. So bottom line my passion to know & worship God will be directly connected to my perception of who he is. It sounds simple right... have the right "thinking" about God and that will translate into right worship. But there is a problem... what if my lenses are "scratched up"? What if what I see about God is actually a distortion of who He really is? For example if I really do not see God as He is ... the God who absolutely and extravagantly loves me with a limitless love than how can I ever worship him without feeling like I will never be good enough? Oh how my life, love and worship of God changed when I discovered that He loves me regardless of my "performances" or non performances in the Christian life. You see a love like that changes how you live! Now I understand what Paul means when he says "...for the love of Christ compels me..."

You see the truth is that there is ONE LORD and ONE GOD... and God's word describes for us the reality of just who this amazing God really is! God is totally and wholly other than anything else in this universe. There is nothing that even comes close to who He is! And when I do not see God clearly as He is then I do not worship him as he deserves! What I end up doing in essence is I end up trying to worship a "god" I wish existed instead of the GOD who is! I end worshiping a god that I have made into what I want him to be!

You see it easier to live & worship with a less than adequate view of God. It is easier to live with a lie than deal with the truth. Because if I truly worship God in Spirit and in truth, then whatever doesn't line up with his nature and His life, and his character must change!

God my prayer today is that you would search me and show me anything and everything that keeps me from seeing you for WHO YOU REALLY ARE! Lord I pray that you would turn my eyes away from worthless things! And restore me in your ways!!!

Not Ashamed...Bill

"You cannot commend what you do not cherish..."

2009-01-26T08:59:00.000-08:00

“Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”
Revelation 4:11

"Worship" = the object of adoring reverence or regard. (dictionary.com)

"Worship"= having weight, something of great value" (Greek NT)

This week I am meditating on worship. What it is and what role it should play in my life. Now I'm not talking about a time on Sunday morning but rather a deep rooted passion to give all that I am to all that HE is! As I was driving into the office this morning, I began thinking about my own passion towards God. I mean I'm a pretty passionate person. So when I go in... I go all in! I'm passionate about family, friends, UT sports, Chuy's (the most amazing tex-mex ever), the persecuted church, the poor and neglected, those who have no voice, missions, preaching the word of God, sharing my faith...among other things. And what I am noticing in my own life is this... that my passion for God is directly connected to my worship of HIM privately. In simplistic words ... what I share & show publicly about Christ must first start privately in my own heart! However for some time now I really have been battling a divided heart. I find myself drifting more and more into indifference, into a state of luke-warmness as it relates to my passion for Christ. But I refuse to give in to that and I refuse to live inauthentically for Christ. We have enough of that in our culture today. So what is it that robs me of my passion for the one who deeply loves me and knows ever fault I have and yet still chooses to never let go of my life?

I guess I have to say it is the love of other things! Its not that I don't have a deep love for Christ...I do... but love is not a feeling! It is a committment! It gives itself away sacrificially! And I am starting to notice that my passion for Christ begins to get dilluded when I begin to give my "worship" to other things in my life that just don't matter. You see I am realizing that whatever I give glory to...(ie...friends, family, UT sports, Chuy's, missions, poor, etc...) is really what I worship. Because we give glory to those things we attach great value to. Now there is nothing wrong with being a great father or husband, or taking care of the poor or serving in missions, being a UT sports fanatic or Chuy's addict... but if I am more passionate about giving glory to those things and seeking pleasure from those things than I am about giving glory and worship to my God than there is a problem. A problem with me! Maybe the unbelievers out there who look at Christianity today and scoff have a legitimate gripe! I mean "We" say we know God...we say that he has changed our lives and that He lives in us ... We say that we believe he created the heavens and the earth, and yet we live so passively for his glory and his name. Albert Einstein himself was very skeptical about Christianity and its claims for that very reason. He did not think the religious had enough respect for the author of the universe. So the issue is not that the unbelieving world finds God unbelievable...its just they haven't been convinced yet, based on our lives that we believe it!

As I meditate on this passage in Revelation ... I notice that John is very purposed in declaring God's preeminence and position in the earth and in his life. John writes “Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things." Right before this verse we see the 24 elders in heaven bowing down and casting their crowns before the ONE who was and who is and who is to come. These crowns represent their power, their authority, their own right to rule and yet when they see his glory, his majesty, and when they are embraced by his power & presence and they do the only thing they can do...they fall on their face under the "weight" of who He is and they "worship" Him alone!

Bottom line...true worship of Christ demands my all! As I read this passage this morning I am convinced that I must be "willing" to lay anything and everything down that I hold onto in this life because compared to the glory of God and who he is and what he has done ... nothing else really matters! My prayer today is that my life, love and passion for God would burn bright on the altar of worship! And just maybe as I begin to live in awe of who God is in my own life, maybe ...just maybe others will be able to come and light their candle at its flame!

Not Ashamed...Bill

Take My Breath Away...

2009-01-22T06:40:00.000-08:00

One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to behold the beauty of the LORD
and to meditate in his temple.
Psalm 27:4

I will never forget at my wedding reception someone said to me "Wow, your wife is so beautiful...and my response to them (which was recorded on video) was, "Yea I was really surprised." Now I know that might sound really bad! But hear me out. What I really meant by that statement was this ...when I saw her coming down the isle of that church I was simply blown away by her beauty...she simply took my breath away!

Today I was looking at what it means to pray with adoration as one of the key components of my prayer life. Adoration simply means beholding or meditating on who God is. Adoration lifts my eyes & heart towards heaven & allows me to lose my breath in the glory of who God is! The Psalmist David asks the Lord for one thing here in Psalm 27... "that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life"... so that he may "behold the beauty of the Lord..." What I believe David was asking for here was this...God take my breath away....I have seen your glory...I have seen who you are and Lord there is nothing that compares to you...there is nothing else that can satisfy me!

As I sit here this morning I am ashamed to say that I have allowed a lot of other things in this world to take my breath away. I know today that I am still way to busy filling up my life with the things that really don't matter. Honestly it is not the "bad" or sinful things that draw me away from God. Praise God I am not hooked on drugs or porn ... but the longer I live as a Christ follower I really see the greatest danger in my pursuit of God being those things that are "good." Those things that really don't matter ... those things that just don't add really any eternal value to my life. Man I am still so self centered in so many areas of my life...and my desire is that God would simply take my breath away! It's amazing what can take your breath away when your willing to stop & be still & disconnect from the busyness and rapid pace of life that we live today. Be still today and know that He is GOD!

When was the last time God took your breath away? Take some time today and "behold the beauty" of our God. May my God today simply take your breath away!!!!

Not Ashamed....Bill

Are You Shameless ...

2009-01-21T07:55:00.000-08:00

“I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence (shamelessness) he will get up and give him as much as he needs. “And I say to you, ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you."

Luke 11:8-9

Shameless ..."a lack of sensitivity to what its proper."

I was reading in Luke 11 today about a guy who shows up very late to a friends house and asks for some bread because he needs to feed another buddy of his who has shown up at his house and he doesn't have anything to feed him with. How awkward are those moments when you have to ask someone else for help? Or for money? Or even for food? You feel kinda stupid... you immediately start playing down the need that you have and start apologizing for even imposing on them. "I promise I will pay you back...this won't happen again...I'll make it up to you...." Now I know that we are just trying to be polite and respectful and give the impression that this is a "one time" need and that it will never happen again. But is that not pride at work in us? God says here in this passage today that he answers the one who is shameless...he answers the one who isn't worried about his reputation or what others might see him doing, but rather he will answer the one who is willing to ask shamelessly. What hit me today is this...I need to be shameless about my prayers to God. I need to lay all pride aside and share my desperation with him because he calls me to ask, seek and knock...until he responds!

What if God told you today, in this very moment that whatever you prayed for ... whoever you prayed for... he would answer you? What would you pray for? Who would you pray for? My thought is that you would not care where you were or who was around nor what you were involved in ... I would think that in that moment you would become absolutely shameless! You would fall on your face, you would spend however long it took to pray everything on your heart, and my guess is that you would pray more desperately than you ever have before.

What if God is waiting on you to begin to pray shamelessly? What if the reason you have not...is because you ask not. Matt. 7:9-11 reads “Or what man is there among you, when his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone? “Or if he shall ask for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!" May you know today that we serve a "how much more" kind of God. May you be absolutely "insensitive and improper" in your prayer today. May you be shameless!

Not Ashamed...Bill

How BIG is your God?

2009-01-20T07:41:00.000-08:00

“And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition, as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. “Therefore do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need, before you ask Him. Matthew 6:7-8

This week I am meditating on what it really means to pray. I have to admit... this is the weakest point of my spiritual life and I really don't know why. I mean I know why...(I'm lazy, its hard work, it requires me to exercise faith, and the list goes on...) And I think this morning that if prayer is to the believer what oxygen is to our life... I'm sucking it up... literally. I mean I do pray daily...but is it really the kind of prayers that move the heart of God and shape & deepen my inner life? I don't think so. Where are my prayers of desperation and dependence...where are the prayers that call on the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob to come and show Himself mighty on my behalf?

And then I read scripture like this one today..."for your Father knows what you need, before you ask Him." Great ...I'm off the hook....see God you tell me that I don't have to pray because your already know what I need and you will take care of it! But that's not really what God is saying. Maybe that is the case if your prayer life has become a laundry list of needs and wants!!!! But that's not God's intention for prayer. Im really coming to understand that intimate prayer before God is about coming face to face with WHO HE IS ... its about me recognizing who He is and who I am not! Man how I need to be reminded that I know I am NOT...but I know I AM. You see prayer is not something you DO for God ...it is something you get to share with Him. A face to face encounter! A time where I can be still and hear his voice and where He can remind me of just who it is that holds onto me daily. Listen prayer is important not because of what it does for God...but rather what it does in me! It changes everything! It changes how I view my life, my struggles, my family, my ministry, it changes everything! Bottom line ... I am coming to understand that God calls us to pray not because he needs to be acknowledged and have his ego stroked...no....its for us ... so that we might be reminded WHO HE IS and who we are not!!!!

Not Ashamed....Bill

How far am I willing to go?

2009-01-19T09:15:00.000-08:00

"... I am again in labor until Christ is formed in you —" Gal. 4:19

I often ask myself...is how I'm living out my faith (my life in Christ) even making a difference? I look at my family and I think ... am I being intentional about pouring out my life into my boys and my wife. Am I doing what I do because I think I have to...its what a pastor is supposed to do. Or do I really want the Christ in me becoming the Christ in them. Paul is writing here to the Galatians who have been caught up in living out a "legalistic Christianity" (they had wrong beliefs but right living.) Basically they were "doing what they do" for all the wrong reasons. They had come to believe that they had to "earn" God's love and forgiveness! They had come to believe that Gods approval of them was based on what they can do for him! And this is so far from the truth! Man how liberating it is to know that God's love for me has never been nor ever will be tied to what I can do for him. And I pray that my wife and boys will know & experience that kind of love from me as well.

Okay so back to Paul... And so Paul writes..."I am again in labor..." It's as though Paul is saying ...once again we are back at square one! I mean Paul is watching these people in his life struggle...those that he loved are taking 1 step forwards and 3 steps back. And I know he had to ask himself ... "Are you kidding me? Again...when are you going to get it?" "How many times do I have to remind you and tell you..." But that's not what he says here...he says in essence ...I am not letting you go! Get up, lets do this life thing together... I'm not quitting on you ...I want you to know that I am committed to you until one thing happens ... that Christ in me becomes formed in you! What an amazing love and passion he had for Christ and for others! Is that not what Christ has called us to do and be ... to Love God and to Love People?

Listen Paul could have just focused on simply transferring knowledge...but knowledge alone doesn't change lives! Life on Life does! One life rubbing up against another life! Listen it is not going to be easy! Its not clean...its messy and there is going to be a lot of bumps and bruises along the way. But the reward is worth it...Christ being formed in the lives of those God has entrusted to me! What a blessing! And so the question is ... when is it enough? How long do I go? How much do I invest into this relationship? And that is where I am encouraged today by Paul. Because he had a singular passion in life... to endure whatever pain, failure or frustration he must endure, so that Christ might be formed in those God has entrusted to his life! So my prayer today is that I would do whatever it takes, that I would give whatever I have, that I would go through whatever I have to go through in order that Christ Jesus would be formed in those God has entrusted to my life! Especially my wife and my boys!

Father I thank you that you never ever gave up on me! Thank you that you are a God of second chances! And I pray today that you would create in me a deep passion to be sacrificially poured out into the lives of those you have entrusted to me.

Not Ashamed...Bill

Which part do I share?

2009-01-14T07:59:00.000-08:00

Passage Read/Meditated 2 Timothy 3:12-14

"...all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted..."

I find myself thinking often about what that moment would look like or be like for me. Would it be in some hostile land over seas all alone, away from my family dying at the hands of violent men? Or would it be a long and torturous journey... where I would have to endure the loss of everything that I hold dear to my heart. I do admit that soon after I surrendered my life to Christ that I have had an eerie sense that this would one day be my destiny. That one day I would have the privilege "to share in the sufferings of Christ." Now that may be the case only God knows, but as I read this passage this morning... this thought hits me...is not "sharing in the sufferings of Christ" the destiny for all of us? I mean persecution is not simply reserved for the "saintly"...or for the "super-christian"... It is not reserved for a select few but rather it is a daily calling for all Christ followers...to lose their lives that they might find it in Christ! That our lives would be spent for the Glory of God.

Philippians 1:29 reminds me this morning that when Christ reached into my life and grabbed hold of me...that I was forever joined to HIS LIFE! That means all of HIS LIFE! All of his grace, compassion, forgiveness, holiness, righteousness, power and yes even all of his sufferings. So here's my problem... why is it that I am so desperate to want to LIVE in Christ but yet at times so resistant to embrace his sufferings? I guess I'm still trying to figure out which part I want to share. His LIFE or HIS DEATH...and yet the truth is...it must be both...I cant have His life without His death. "I am crucified with Christ...and it is not I who lives but Christ who lives in me..."And so my prayer today is that I would choose to be completely joined to HIS LIFE. That I would seek to share not only in his life but also in his death. I pray that Christ you would lead me to the place where I can begin to share all things with YOU!

Not Ashamed... Bill

Is there Substance or just a Silhouette?

2009-01-12T09:06:00.000-08:00

Passage read and meditated on 2 Tim. 3:1-9

v5 "...holding onto a form of godliness, although they have denied its power: Avoid such men as these."

Could my life be avoided? Should my life be avoided? How authentically is CHRIST being lived out of my life? Isn't there something different about those who "pose" & those who live authentically? Paul says here the difference is the very person and presence of Christ...HIS LIFE!!! Listen I don't want to live my life LIKE CHRIST... He is not something I can just "add on", "or get the latest plug in or version" and then go on living my life my way ... I want to live in such a way that ALL of ME is consumed by ALL OF HIM! I know what my life will be like if I try and "do it" any other way. Empty, powerless, miserable! There is so much at stake in my life ... I desperately want my life to count... I want my life to change and shape the lives of the next generation. I desperately want to KNOW Christ more and to make HIM KNOWN... but I confess I am a screw up at times ...I get in the way so many times!!! I have the desires and the want to... but when I give into "a form of godliness" ...when I choose to pursue religious expressions instead of pursuing a pure and simple devotion to Christ, I become "that" person Paul describes. A lover of self and possessions, boastful and ungrateful, unloving and unforgiving. I end up living my life for the praise of men, instead of the pleasure of God. I admit this Christian life becomes miserable, and powerless and religiously rigid when it is lived outside of intimately & authentically knowing Christ. Listen I want to be the Man God has called me to be, the husband that I long for my wife to know, and the father that I would want my sons to grow up and become! But am I willing to pay the price? Am I willing to die? Am I willing to lose myself and my "form" of godliness... so that the very LIFE and person of Christ may be spilt out of my life and into the lives of others? Man the stakes are high ...and I have one chance...one opportunity to make an impact... and as I read this verse today ... I wonder ??? God is this life that I live... is it becoming merely a silhouette, a form, a "keeping up of appearances", a list of "doing" ... instead of a life of "being" and LIVING IN CHRIST? May it NEVER BE!!!!

So I ask myself today ...does my life stand in dark contrast to the norm of a self centered "Americanized Christianity?" Does my Christianty take on a form of godliness OR does it take on the very person and character of Christ! I cannot live that kind of Christianity ... where there is more emphasis put on the outward appearance of Christ instead of an inward reality of His person. OH GOD how I need help to live that way! How I long for the very Person of Jesus Christ to spill out into every area of my life! God I pray that my life with you would NEVER get to a place where it simply becomes an outward symbol, a silhouette of what I think others want to see but rather may the life that I live be the very substance of the person of Jesus Christ!

Not Ashamed...Bill