When you don't know what to do...

"...then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;..." Prov 2:5-6

What do you do ... when you don't know what to do? I don't know about you but sometimes I feel like I live in that "state" on consistent basis. I'm sure one of the reasons I find myself there is because I am way to hard headed and way to persistent in doing things on my own and getting my own way! But what do yo do when you come to one of those "life-changing" ... life altering decisions... where your one choice will not only change your life but all those around you? What do you do then? You see the reality is this... if Im not listening, hearing and trusting the voice of God daily in the "little things"... how in the world can I expect to hear & know His voice and understand His will when I get to those "big" life-changing decisions?

You see just in the past few weeks I have found myself trusting more in my own wisdom and understanding than in Gods' word. I've kinda had this mentality that says ...okay Lord I know what to do here in this situation... but when I come to that place where I really don't know what to do... when I get to that place where I am really out of my league...then I'll come and seek your guidance. How self-centered, self reliant and prideful I have been.

The problem with that mind set is this...if I'm not willing to trust, depend and be desperate for God in everything, everyday ... how then can I expect to know His voice and His will when BIG things come up in my life? How will I know how to trust him then? You see if you always do what you've always done you will always be what you've always been... translation ...how you live (trust) today will affect how you live (trust) tomorrow!

This morning as I confessed that before God...He began to reveal himself to me in a new and fresh way. As I sought His face in worship...as I longed to know His heart... He simply poured himself out in my life! To be completely honest, I haven't experienced His power and presence like that in a while. Oh how sweet these moments are with God. Its amazing when you share these moments with God...because all of the sudden EVERYTHING in life is put into perspective...all of the sudden everything else in your life pales in comparison to His greatness and His glory. You find yourself not wanting to "get" something from God ...instead you find yourself just simply wanting Him! Right now there is so much change going on in my life ...on every level... that I feel like I'm out of control at times. What a desperate feeling. But then as I read in Proverbs this morning the bible gives me an amazing hope and promise... that "if I will" ... recieve...treasure...make my ears attentive...incline my heart to HIS word ...and then seek and search for HIM with all that I am ... then I will "discern the fear of the Lord and discern the knowledge of God..."


Translation = It's not as important to know what step to take or what direction to go... or what decision to make... as it is in knowing the ONE who is with you and the ONE who goes before you!

Not Ashamed....Bill

"Trafficking Unlived Truth"

"Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, "

Prov. 1:5

My wife says that I am notorious for having selective hearing! "I only hear what I want to hear." Now we laugh about this all the time but this morning as I read in Proverbs... this verse really convicted me. Solomon says basically that if I want to know when, how, and where to walk in this life then I must not only hear but "increase in learning." This statement in Hebrew literally means to "carry with you...to take along with oneself." You see I'm always praying and asking God to speak to me and thru me...but am I really adding to my heart and life the truths that He has already spoken to me? I mean am I simply as D.L Moody says "trafficking un-lived truth"- out of my life. I believe that's called hypocrisy! You see a wise person doesn't just seek to obtain knowledge & understanding ... but rather a wise person takes what He learns and applies it to his circumstances and life and allows that truth to guide every area of life!

Its interesting looking up different words in the original languages...and as you look up the word for "hear" in Hebrew you will see that it is also the same word for "obey." So what that means is this ...God never intends to speak to us where he doesn't also intend for us to obey! A little bit further down in v 33 it says ..."But the one who listens to me shall live securely and will be at ease from the dread of evil." So my prayer today is that I would not simply stop at "hearing" God speak but rather that I would "listen/obey" that I might walk securely in this world. Jesus my prayer today is that I would live out what has been spoken into my life. That I would "increase" not in what I hear but rather in what I do with what I hear!


Not Ashamed....Bill

"... But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life.

Rom 6:22

This morning I am struck with an eearie sense that there are some things in my life that are not leading me into a deeper and closer walk with Christ. Rather just the opposite. There are things that are hindering my relationship with Christ. As a Christ follower I know I am free...Praise God I am free to live without the fear of condemnation or judgement because of my sin...Christ has forgiven me.... but that freedom was not secured for me so that I could continue to live my life my way... my freedom was secured in Christ so that I could live my life HIS way! You see the paradox I consistetly struggle with in my own life is this... for Christ to live His life in me and thru me ... I have to die! And honestly I hate to die! So when I feel that my life is out of balance and spiritually unhealthy ...I know the one thing I must do... FEED my Faith and my flesh will STARVE! And that is really what the Bible is telling me today in Romans 6. I have a choice...I can choose to do those things (or pursue those things) that will lead me farther away from God or I can choose to do those things that will lead me into a deeper relationship with Christ. My prayer today is that God you would give me the power and strength to turn away from those worthless things (even good things) that can bring no LIFE to my walk with you, and in its place give me a deep desire to give myself wholly & completely to those things that will draw me closer to you!


Not Ashamed....Bill

What Kind of God Do My Boys See?

"Let Us make man in Our own image, according to Our likeness; ... God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them."
Gen 1:26-27

I am mediating this morning on what it means to be created in the image of God. What a mind blowing thing to try and grasp about our God. I mean that he would choose me to reflect, resemble, and bear his image ... I mean God out of nothing spoke through the power of His word everything I see and all that I am into existence! The Hebrew word used here for "create" is never used in the context of human creativity ...instead it is only given to God...who can take that which never was and make something that is! And what is so amazing is that He chose us as the pinnacle of all that He created to reflect his image!

And so as I meditate on that thought...I ask myself how am I doing in reflecting and resembling and bearing the image of God to my family. I mean as I look at my 3 boys...I can see how each one of them "bear" aspects of my own life. I mean take Jon Jon for example, he is my mini-me, ...whatever I do he does. Matthew, he has my strong will...his way or no way... and of course Billy, he has such an incredibly tender heart for God and passion to reach out to others. And so if the purpose of my existence is to KNOW God deeply and make Him KNOWN... then how am I doing at that in my own home. Months ago I asked Billy my oldest son on the way to baseball practice "what words came to his mind when he thought about Jesus?" He said, "loving, compassionate, sacrifice, giving..." And as I sat listening to his response it hit me.... if that is the Jesus he sees, then I better make sure that that is the Jesus I live!"

The bottom line is this...they will worship (or not worship) the Jesus I live at home. If they are following me wherever I go...the question becomes where am I leading them and who am I leading them to? I do think I do a good job of directing their behaviors ... (this is what we do...this is how we do it....) but am I simply raising up another generation of "doers" instead of "be-ers"?

My hearts desire is that my 3 boys would passionately follow Christ out of a pure & simple devotion instead of a religious duty! My prayer today is that I would authentically and accurtely reflect the Christ who was, who is, and who is to come in such a way that it would lead them to know, love and worship God with all their heart, mind and soul!

Not Ashamed....Bill

Can anything else be poured out???

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"The everlasting God . . . neither faints nor is weary" —Isaiah 40:28

Sometimes I look at all the hurting and desperate people around me...they seem so lost, so helpless in their pursuit for the ONE THING that will make the difference in their lives. I know that God has entrusted them into my life so that I might be the very expression of His love, grace, power and presence....but sometimes I just get overwhelmed with the task God has called me to. As I was driving in yesterday to worship and I began to think about all the different hurting/broken people just in the last week that God has brought into my life...and honestly I got very anxious... I drove in feeling like a huge weight was sitting on my chest. I began thinking God with so many people who are hurting and broken and who are in need of being restored and rescued...where do I begin? I cant do this...there is no way! I mean what else can I possibly give? What else can be poured out? Honestly I began to wrestle in my Spirit & with my flesh. I wanted to start making excuses as to why I can't do this or do that... I wanted to start chucking responsibilities and turn inward...just focus on myself, my wife and my boys! But then it hit me ... It not up to me!

The reality this morning is this ... God has simply called me to know him deeply and to make him known daily!!! God has called me to a life of being poured out! A life that is bound on the altar!!! A living sacrifice. It is interesting that when I am not willing to be bound on the altar daily how easily my flesh and desires want to release me from my duty & devotion to sacrificially serve Christ and others.

As I read a devotion this morning from Oswald Chambers "My Utmost for His Highest" I was struck with this statement that really encouraged my heart:

"The process of being made broken bread and poured-out wine means that you have to be the nourishment for other people’s souls until they learn to feed on God. They must drain you completely— to the very last drop. But be careful to replenish your supply, or you will quickly be utterly exhausted. Until others learn to draw on the life of the Lord Jesus directly, they will have to draw on His life through you. You must literally be their source of supply, until they learn to take their nourishment from God. We owe it to God to be our best for His lambs and sheep, as well as for Him."

Bottom line: As long as I will cling to Him and abide in Him and drink from His life daily ... then there will be an endless supply of His wine to be poured out into the lives of those God has placed into my life! So the question is... God what else can I pour out...the answer...whatever you've poured in!

Not Ashamed..Bill

A Made to Order God...

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. Deut. 6:4-6

I am so terrible about dropping my sunglasses. I don't know what it is about a new pair of expensive sun glasses but as soon as I get them its like a love connection takes over and some way some how they find the pavement and they get all scratched up. And of course the scratches are never on the edge ...no... they are right in the middle of my lenses so that my line of sight is affected. From that moment on everything I see is now scratched & distorted. But what eventually happens after about a week... my eyes adjust and I stop seeing the scratches. I simply just learn to go on and live with this distorted view. I am reminded of that this morning because I think I often do the very same thing as it relates to my worship of God.

The question I am asking this morning is this ... am I seeing the God who is or the God I want Him to be? The reality is that what I see or "don't" see about God will affect how I worship him. So bottom line my passion to know & worship God will be directly connected to my perception of who he is. It sounds simple right... have the right "thinking" about God and that will translate into right worship. But there is a problem... what if my lenses are "scratched up"? What if what I see about God is actually a distortion of who He really is? For example if I really do not see God as He is ... the God who absolutely and extravagantly loves me with a limitless love than how can I ever worship him without feeling like I will never be good enough? Oh how my life, love and worship of God changed when I discovered that He loves me regardless of my "performances" or non performances in the Christian life. You see a love like that changes how you live! Now I understand what Paul means when he says "...for the love of Christ compels me..."

You see the truth is that there is ONE LORD and ONE GOD... and God's word describes for us the reality of just who this amazing God really is! God is totally and wholly other than anything else in this universe. There is nothing that even comes close to who He is! And when I do not see God clearly as He is then I do not worship him as he deserves! What I end up doing in essence is I end up trying to worship a "god" I wish existed instead of the GOD who is! I end worshiping a god that I have made into what I want him to be!

You see it easier to live & worship with a less than adequate view of God. It is easier to live with a lie than deal with the truth. Because if I truly worship God in Spirit and in truth, then whatever doesn't line up with his nature and His life, and his character must change!

God my prayer today is that you would search me and show me anything and everything that keeps me from seeing you for WHO YOU REALLY ARE! Lord I pray that you would turn my eyes away from worthless things! And restore me in your ways!!!

Not Ashamed...Bill